Survival of the Fattest

Nov. 9, 2010

Our dog Grendel is the most laid back 90-pound dog you will ever meet.  He was part of our lives long before Owen came along, and we wondered just how he would accept a new baby into his domain of two rooms (you see, Grendel only walks on carpeted surfaces, and our house is full of hardwood floors.  His territory is small, but manageable, just like he wants it).  He did remarkably well, tolerating the invasion of his space, the inevitable exploration of his long tail, and even the period of “crawl under the dog before he notices” Owen was fond of for a few months.  He did well, but he was never really enthusiastic about Owen–the vivacious puppy that would have loved a playmate was several years in the past. 

Never enthusiastic, that is, until Owen began eating solid food.  Then Grendel began to see the possibilities.  Nearly every meal yielded him some wonderful treat; and then, Grendel began to sneak.  As soon as we looked away, Owen’s snack would disappear.  Grendel became the master of snack-sneaking and falling into a dead sleep to avoid detection.  (Though it’s hard to miss the fact that the bowl is mere inches from his nose.)

But Grendel outdid himself a few days ago.  The Halloween candy was too much to resist, especially since Owen left the bag on the floor.  The bag filled with Hershey bars, Peanut M &Ms, Milky Ways, Reese’s Cups and Butterfingers.  A whole bag of untouched Halloween candy.  When we came home from church, the entire bag was gone.  A giant whole in the side, a little slobber, and a tootsie roll pop were all that remained (the dog apparently has discerning tastes, or maybe he didn’t like the look of the lollipop stick).  Everything else, vanished. 

And if you’ve never seen a dog on a sugar high, it is something to behold.  In fact, we were worried that this might be demise of dear old Grendel (but talk about “going out with style”).  Grendel, however, seems none the worse for the chocolate–we might even dress him up next year and let him get his own bag full. 

In the last few days, though, Owen and I have been reading The Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs.  Nearly every page mentions the word “predator,” and I wanted to be sure he understood.  When I asked him to explain, he said, “It is something that sneaks up on stuff or animals and eats it.” 

I congratulated him and asked for an example to drive home the lesson.  Thinking quickly and with Grendel in my line of sight, I asked, “What do you think dogs might be predators of?” Of course, I was thinking squirrels, cats, bunnies–all of which Grendel has chased in the past few days. 

But without missing a beat, he said, “Chocolate.”    Grendel knows his prey, all right.  Who wants a squirrel when you can have chocolate?  (The jury is out on chocolate covered squirrel.)  He may live to see several more Halloweens, if he doesn’t see 100 pounds first.

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